Sandwich Impossible

I’m close to having a Standard Operating Procedure for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 3 AM without waking a dog, which then wakes a disgruntled wife. It involves air freshener, artificial sound disbursement, and event colocation. Peanut butter and jelly was almost certainly created for the sole purpose of eating while watching “Welcome […]

McDonald’s Blows It – Again

In 1984, I decided that I would never eat at McDonald’s again. I wanted a Big Mac with only cheese, ketchup, and mustard, and they refused to make it. And so started my personal boycott list. Nobody cares about this list but me, but it’s a matter principle and it exists for my own satisfaction. […]