Peppermint ice cream tastes wonderful, but I won’t touch it because of the crunchy peppermint sticks that stick to the teeth. Just give me the peppermint flavor please. NO STICKS!

Mint.

I guess I could try to make it myself. Every time I’ve tried to make homemade ice cream, it turns into a huge mess that tastes questionable, at best. I don’t really consider this a valid option.

Maybe somebody out on the net makes a smooth mint. I was looking right before I typed this post. And then I realized that I’m going to have to do some big Google investigation to find a smooth mint. “smooth mint” (in quotes) brought up “Smooth mint ice cream speckled with rich chocolate pieces”, “smooth mint ice cream, swirled with dark chocolate sauce and dark chocolate shavings”, “smooth mint ice cream loaded with Andes Candies and thin mint cookies”, and other similar crapola. Now it’s gonna be work, and that pisses me off, so here I am.

By the way, I feel the same way about banana cake and banana ice cream. Always the need for chocolate, as though the banana flavor doesn’t hold up on its own. Always with the ruining of the banana with the chocolate…

So today, the wife and I were trying to decide what fast food we might get for lunch. Normally we would choose from Burger King, Arby’s, Gold Star, White Castles, Frisch’s and a few others – but never McDonald’s.

While discussing who has the least offensive fries, we agreed that McDonald’s always had some of the better fries in the realm of fast food. Then I mentioned how much I loved their strawberry shakes … long story short … we decided to get McDonald’s. I threw my arms up ceremoniously and declared them officially removed from my boycott list. My wife snickered, “I’m sure they’ll breathe a sigh of relief.”

Here’s how it turned out. The following picture shows two things:

1) I ordered a Big Mac with cheese only, and

2) the order is double-checked by them for accuracy. I’d assume that the sticker is placed on the box only after it’s inspected. Pretty damn impressive!

Now, here’s what was actually in the box.

Argh! The cheese is there, but so is what I assume is “special sauce” with scary looking green crap in it. Foul stuff. It was on both layers, so there was no salvaging the sandwich. And to top it off, they totally forgot to include the order of fries! I can only guess that this order wasn’t in any way actually double-checked.

For good measure, here’s photo of how small the McDonald’s meat patty has become.

That’s really sad.

Wow, less than an hour after lifting their 21-year boycott, McDonald’s found their way right back onto my list. “Ba da ba ba bahhh… I’m hatin’ it.”

http://www.citybeat.com/2000-05-18/adnauseam.shtml

I was ready to do some high level bitching here, but that article kind of stole my thunder. I’m glad he did the research, because the details of the whole false advertising thing were gnawing at me. Apparently false advertising is perfectly legal. Who knew?

It’s not like you can tell what the shapes are supposed to be. And instead of being round, they’re now just seemingly random jagged shapes. This only increases the chance that the already-pointy cereal will tear up the roof of your mouth, and possibly your gums.

Look, just put it in a plain white box that says “crunchberries”, make all the pieces one shape, and charge me a buck fitty.

Yes, I took a picture of crunchberries. And I’m not ashamed.