Brad McConahay

This is a moronic ode to the unimaginitive hacks who come up with the headlines for Michael Jackson stories…

Jacko’s backo, and he’s whacko. He’s smokes tobacco and cracko, and shoots the smacko until he has a heart attacko. Then he has a snacko, like maybe a Big Mac-O, a lunch packo, a stacko of flap jackos, or Tacko Bell. He’s got a real knacko for letting a quacko hacko his olfacto – you’re on the right tracko if you think he hates being blacko. And he doesn’t lacko a racko to hit the sacko with his packo of little victims… er, friends.

For christ’s sake, you hackos, get a new headline gimmick. It wasn’t clever in the early ’90s, and it isn’t now.